July 31, 2006

Coke: And Growing


New Advertising Campaign for Coke

Coke: #1 Soft Drink in the World.
Next goal: Replace Water.

Cut to people swimming in pools of coke. To people taking showers in coke. To kids using drinking fountains at school that dispense coke. Fade out to moon eye's view of Earth. Oceans replaced with Coke... Fade back in to person next to a regular pool drinking a refreshing coke. Ok, we'll stick to soda. Coke: #1 Soft Drink in the World.

July 27, 2006

Pre-Natal Care


So, most modern day women stop smoking and drinking when they get pregnant right? But, since you don't find out that you're pregnant until the month after you get pregnant, a smoker or drinker could be causing serious harm to their child without even realizing it, when they would definitely have quit if they had known that they were currently pregnant. Is smoking and drinking while pregnant as dangerous as the after-school specials would have us believe? If so, don't women have a moral obligation to not drink or smoke at all when in a sexual relationship?

July 26, 2006

Shoplifting Acquittal of CrazyGlue


"Andrea Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity Wednesday in her second murder trial for the bathtub drownings of her young children." Here's my problem with this. Of course she's insane. Is there ever going to be a SANE reason for drowning your children? But, now this means that we're only going to punish the murderers who have good reasons for their crimes. But, the really crazy stuff? No, they shouldn't be punished. They're just crazy.

Zoos are Animal Slave Houses


I don't understand why animal rights activists all own pets? They want to free Willy, save the polar bears, castrate puppies, but yet, they all imprison large collections of animals in their small homes. Were there any animals actually created for domestication purposes? It seems really mean, now that I think about it. I mean, I know we like touching animals. But, to keep one trapped in a human prison merely for our own entertainment? Perhaps farmers in the mid 1800s in the South just really had an affinity for Africans?

July 25, 2006

United We Speed


So, we are divided once again politically as a nation. One party thinking that the group, Hezbollah are terrorists, the other thinking that they are Santa Clause. I received inspiration today for a new political party to unite this nation. A few days ago, I was driving down the highway and a vehicle coming the other way flashed his lights at me (in the middle of the day). I had forgotten about this "secret code" to warn that there is a police cruiser in hiding down the road. I slowed down my vehicle and sure enough, there it was. This morning, I got to spot the cruiser first and gave people coming in the opposite direction the "secret code" and I saw their brake lights go on in my rear-view mirror. We as civilians are winning! The new party is "We hate cops!" Think of the campaign smearing. We can yell at their spending, we can go the whole donut route if we need to, we can point out the fact that crime still exists, proving their total and utter failure, it's a lock. We will be united once again!

Anatomically Perfect Soul Mates


You know those stories about the young couple who falls in love and then the guy gets shipped off to war, and then find each other 40 years later in some random third world country in some random city in some random restaurant. To me, that's always a sign that there are such things as soul-mates in this world that are ordained by the Creator. So, I'm curious about something. If these soul-mates are "perfect" for each other. And the Creator knew in advance that these two people were destined for each other, might they also be anatomically created to match? And if research showed this, couldn't we then determine whether or not we should marry Girl "X" or Guy "Y" based on this? Let's turn love into simplistic soul-mate science people.

July 21, 2006

Save the Animals, Nuke the Rest


This past week during the Israel-Hezbollah conflict, I have been noticing quite a few front page stories on Barbaro, the horse who broke his leg during the Preakness Stakes, one of the three races of the Triple Crown. When I mentioned how silly this was that a horse was incurring such large headlines during such a catastrophic time in the Middle East, my mother overheard me talking about Barbaro and yelled "Oh no, did he die?" Why would we care if Barbaro died? What is the better alternative for Barbaro, dying later? Why do we care more about animals than humans? Why do people see a limping dog walking down the street and start to tear up, but walk past a homeless person and think they deserve it?

July 20, 2006

Give Up Your Body


Stem cell research is back on the front page again. I heard a very good point on television the other day by a leading doctor in favor of federal stem cell research. He claimed that it is crazy for people to deny access to embryo destruction because of the amazing good it can do for SO many lives. Without deep scrutiny into what an "embryo" is, couldn't one make the claim that this man should then voluntarily give up his OWN life because of the blood, organs AND stem cells that he could provide that would do good for EVEN MORE lives? Is this a fair question?

July 13, 2006

Leopard Print Pucker Up


So, there are a lot of people who fancy women wearing leopard print clothing? Does this bother anyone else? They are attracted to people dressed up as animals! We are letting these people roam around our zoos! They're not there for the entertainment, they're speed-dating!

Bigger Than Global Warming


One man-made occurence that seems to always flys real low under the radar is gravity. In the year 1666, (coincidence anyone), Isaac Newton invented gravity. No big deal, right? Wrong says flood rains and short basketball players. Without gravity, nearly all of the world's problems would be solved. The solutions are fairly self-explanatory. But, why do we settle for this gravity-plagued reality we live in. It's obvious, big business. There's lot of money in sneakers and houses, all which require what? gravity.

This is Your Future


Will you be there?

July 12, 2006

Free Market Babies


What if babies were allowed to be bought and sold on the free market? Child protection laws would still be in order; we're not talking about a slave market here. But, if you could start getting $10,000 per illegitimate child, I think you would start to see a shrinking abortion rate in America. And doesn't that seem to be where free market capitalism is at it's best, enforcing morality by creating custom-ordered kiddies?

July 11, 2006

Non-Violent Apathy


Could Gandhi beat North Korea and Kim Jong-il today? More broadly speaking, can non-violent resistance still hold water against evil tyrants. Or would a Gandhi-esque battle require a certain kind of civility amongst the opponent? e.g. Gandhi against the British is a different battle than a Gandhi-Kim Jong battle royale.

July 10, 2006

I Bet Blue Tastes Good


If wearing a seatbelt is a mandate, then shouldn't drinking paint be illegal as well?

July 07, 2006

Where Is It At


What's the most beautiful place you've ever been in the world? Think specifically, not a general country, I want one specific moment. Here's a few of mine to get you started. On top of a 12,000 ft. mountain in Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada that I had just climbed overlooking Lake Louise. Mulholland Drive, CA, right where the girl climbs down into the city in the movie. Henlopen Beach, Delaware looking at passing dolphins.

Guitar Finger Pads


I want to invent little pads that stick on to the top digits of my left hand that would make guitar playing easier. Then I could play Bon Jovi all night! Goodbye calluses.

Turning Japanese


Yesterday, I was playing tennis and there was a bunch of Asian guys playing basketball with one white guy. And then a cell phone goes off and the ring tone is "Turning Japanese". Who stops the game to go answer it? The white guy. So, here's my question. Is this guy a version of Timothy Treadwell "Grizzly Man" and instead of thinking he's a bear, he thinks he's Asian? Secondly, if your child could be born a different race, what race would you prefer him/her to be?

July 06, 2006

You are Not a Snow Flake


You know how people always say they want to be unique? Is it really the fact that they don't want to be like anyone else, or the fact that they want to feel that they were created intentionally? That they have a purpose? And if they are "intentionally" uniquely created, then it is because they have an "intention" for their life?

Wanted Dead


So, as usual, I've been Bon Jovi-bashing and one of my friends took exception and said that I couldn't deny millions of record sales. I said I didn't deny the sales, my contention is merely that he sucks and that I hate him. He said that was like him saying that jazz sucked. But, Bon Jovi is hardly a genre. I was thinking that would be more like saying Kenny G sucked, which I think is at least a valid argument. Why can't art be completely subjective?

July 05, 2006

Business Casual


What do you think about this name for a clothing store? Business Casual. Instead of having to go to Target and buy up, or go to Men's Wearhouse and buy down, there would be a store out there that solely sells what 70% (i made that up) of the populace has to wear each day to their jobs. For dudes, hip businessy shirts and dress pants, and for the ladies, the same plus some business girdles or whatever chicks wear. Yes, it's a boring name for a store, but that's the point. All jobs that have you wear business casual clothing are boring...and it's just direct.

July 03, 2006

Two-Faced


What do you think about the idea of a house with two faces? Because walking around a pond behind our apartment, all of the backs of the house that face the pond are pretty horrendous. The fronts of the homes are all beautiful, but there's no symmetry to the backs. No inviting doorway. I want homes with two fronts. Who's with me?

July 02, 2006

A Zoo for People



Timothy Treadwell, Bradley University attendee and star of the documentary, "Grizzly Man" was obviously a lunatic. He thought he was a bear and for over a decade he filmed bears and tried befriending bears in Alaska. SPOILER: He gets eaten by a bear. By the way, it's an exceptional film and wildly entertaining if only to see this passionate man act like such a loony toon. So, why wasn't Timothy Treadwell admitted to a mental hospital? Do you have to be a threat to other people or can it by yourself as well? Because the outcome proves that his lunacy cost him his life?

Don't Approach A Commercial Property Investment With A Residential Head

This post has been contributed.   Image source Investing in any sort of property is a pretty sound bet to make, but please don’t think...