September 26, 2007

Personality Mirroring

Why do I behave differently around different groups of people?

Why does my humor become more depraved around my male friends? Why do I alter my slang at my predominantly black church? Why do I try to act like a pure intellectual around my father?

Are these just all different facets of my authentic self that come out when around people with similar facets? Or am I just a big fat faker?


JMC said...

Well, Duh! Big fat faker. :)

Seriously, it is normal to more readily accept those who are most like ourselves. We also want acceptance from those around us, often by behaving as those in the group whose acceptance we are seeking.

lyds said...

i worry that i do this personality mirroring thing because i want people to like me and i wonder if that is a bad thing

Sabai said...

i think that was the point I was getting at as well, lyds.

it's normal to want people to like us. I just want to make sure we're not being dishonest to who we really are in order to make that happen.

Anonymous said...

I do this too, a lot, and it worries me. I wish I knew how to change it so I could help you!

Eric Olsen said...

:) Thanks anon!

Anonymous said...

In essence, personality mirroring is a self-destructive habit. You are literally disregarding your true character in order to maximize the approval you get from the people surrounding you. In the beginning, I also considered it to be a good thing but once you truly open your eyes you will start noticing the effects it has on you. I do recommend The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, this is an incredible book that provides invaluable knowledge and once read, you will never see reality with the same eyes.