November 25, 2009

Why James Garfield Sucked: The Song


#20. James A. Garfield

C, Em, G, D/F#

when I say Reagan, you say president.
Jefferson, kennedy, you say president.
I say Lincoln, you say president
I say Garfield, you say cat

Garfield spent his presidency
trying to make his enemies
angry at the fact that he in fact did win

Roscoe conkling, enemy one
wanted a little recognition
Garfield said no way
I won, you lost, the piper’s got to pay

spite’s what made up his cabinet
4 months later, he died to fit
shot by a man who wanted in
shouted the stalwarts would rise again

that’s why we know the cat over the man
a lesson for all you kids out there
you pick a fight
you’re going to get shot in the spine

when I say Garfield
you say president
Garfield. Odie!
Garfield. Lasagna!

see, it’s not that easy
you shouldn’t have been so sleazy

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