February 16, 2010

I Can't Say That! They're My Friends.

Let's say your friend has a really bad habit. They're making a poor lifestyle choice or they're being socially insensitive to the world without even realizing it.

Shouldn't we, as their friends, be the ones telling them to quit it? Or at least help them understand the perception the world has of their action?

But, no. We don't. Because...we're their friends, and we don't want them to get mad at us. After all, it might be awkward. But if we can't be honest with our friends, who else is going to do it?


Arcane Rest said...

Honesty is usually the best, but tactfullness can be better. You can tell you friend that he is doing something completely wrong in a tactful way.

Arcane Rest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meghan said...

This might get back to that "unsolicited advice" topic - if you call your friend out on something, you have to be prepared for them to get mad at you and be offended. Even if you're right, they may not see your point of view for a long time, if ever. You have to be prepared to lose that friend. "The truth hurts" and some people can't handle that.

I guess it's a gamble between the slight possibility that they will take your criticism to heart and the larger chance that they will just get mad and continue with their behavior. Then it just depends on how serious the situation is - if they are doing something to harm themselves or others (like substance abuse/driving or taking care of others under the influence), then certainly it's worth taking that chance, but if it's something small, then you have to weigh the options.

Eric Olsen said...

haha, what if it's just something that bothers ME?

I think you're dead on regarding what it boils down to. I want to be liked more than I want them to improve.

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