February 18, 2010

Why I Am a Bad Friend

While I am truly happy for my friends when they have good news, there also comes a measure of jealousy along with it if they're celebrating something that I don't have.

For example, when I hear of a friend's pregnancy, I'm slightly disappointed, as it reminds me that I am not in that same situation. When I hear of a friend's financial success, I am slightly jealous, knowing that being in that same situation could make a lot of my future ambitions come a lot faster.

If I truly loved these people as much as much as I love myself, wouldn't their happiness be my own as well?

...which is a perfect lead-in to tomorrow's final chapter of our accidental "week in friendship".

3 comments:

LizM said...

And yet you expect them to help you move.....

Meghan said...

Speaking as someone who feels like she put her life on hold for the last 5 years to finish grad school, I completely understand!!! I think it's natural to feel so, so happy for your friends when things are going well for them, but it also reminds you of your own situation, which can make you feel a little jealous. I don't think it's being a bad friend at all, just human. When I hear about all my friends buying homes, having kids, etc., part of me wishes that I were at that point in my life too. I realize you aren't asking for suggestions, but what helps me sometimes is to remember the things I do have going well. "The grass is always greener on the other side" - maybe there are friends who think I am lucky to have a great husband and family (which I am!) You have a beautiful wife, a lovely home, and your health :)

Eric Olsen said...

haha, great point, Liz.

and great point, too, Meghan.