March 31, 2010

Passover Humor

"So, are you celebrating the Seder meal tomorrow with your family?" "Uh, I'm not sure. I think Marcie might be hosting something..." "You're not excited? I thought you were an orthodox Jew?" "Nah, I'm more Jew-ish."
0 comments

March 30, 2010

Secrets Secrets Are No Fun

Freshman year of college, my roommate came home super-late one night and told me about a make-shift therapy session a bunch of our friends had. They all shared some of their biggest secrets, and at the time, I was pretty shocked. Thoughts of suicide. Huge regrets. Deep emotional scars. But, looking back, that was probably a very freeing experience for those involved. After all, I'm on record as arguing that we all need counseling. And this was a great step in the right direction. He at least, looks back at that night extraordinary fondly. He knew he wasn't alone. And he felt hope about the future. So, the moral of the story is, don't keep secrets. They'll eat you to death. Tell someone you can trust.
0 comments

March 29, 2010

Compassion for the Insane

I remember a friend once told me how smart their father was in terms of theological understanding, and said "He always wanted to be a Pastor, but just didn't have enough compassion for people to make it. As if that were a natural stop point impossible to overcome. Now, I'm preaching to myself here. I don't like a whole lot of people, either. I prefer my personality. But, this is a moral failure. Not who I'm content to be. Because God ferociously loves the very same people I can't stand. And I desire to do the same.
0 comments

March 26, 2010

Now Playing – Jesus is My Girlfriend

If you saw a poster for a band called "Jesus is My Girlfriend", what genre would you assume they were just by the name alone?
0 comments

March 25, 2010

Professional Fitter: Job of the Future

I'm pretty sure that the future of fashion has custom-tailored clothes sold on a mass level in store for it. So, what does that mean? To participate in this not yet invented market, you're going to need precise and detailed measurements of your frame. I see a universal scale being created with maybe 30-35 body measurements. And if you have that information, you'll be able to order custom-fit clothes from any customer clothing manufacturer who offers it. So, we're going to need an industry of professional fitters. Charge $50 for a 1/2 hour session and that person will be instantly ready to buy custom-fit clothes with confidence. Plus, every time the customer gets fatter, they'll need to come in for a re-fit. This can't miss.
0 comments

March 24, 2010

Why Dwight D. Eisenhower Sucked: The Song

#34. Dwight D. Eisenhower

G, D/F#, Em, C

Oh Cuba, you’re done.
The embargo has come
In January of ‘61.

The goal was that the people would revolt
and they did, but they did against us

‘cause everytime something goes wrong
they can point to America
say we’re enslaving them

it’s pure ammunition
golden propaganda

we’re poor, it’s america’s fault
we’re hungry, blame it on Ike
you’re mean, it’s not our fault
we’re leaving, don’t or we’ll shoot you
0 comments

March 23, 2010

Sweet Table Chicago: Designer Dessert Buffets

My wife just launched sweettablechicago.com over the weekend with a first to market strategy of claiming the role of premier dessert table designer in the Chicagoland area. This idea of creating custom-designed dessert tables for parties, weddings, bridal showers, graduations and more is big in New York, but hasn't really spread nationwide yet. So, we're really excited about it! Check out the site, designed by frequent contributor and design blogger, Laurenbecome a fan on Facebook and make sure to sign up for Sweet Table Chicago's E-Mail Club in order to get a delicious surprise. And as always, businesses who have awesome friends always grow the quickest. So, if you have friends who like design-y or food-y things, or have your own blogs and think your readers might be interested, feel free to give us a tweet, post or shout-out!
0 comments

March 22, 2010

I Forgot I Was Charismatic

I got to go to Peoria this past weekend to see some great friends and play drums at my old church. And I had forgotten how much I enjoyed a charismatic music/worship experience. In fact, it almost surprised me when I think of how different my current church is. So, the question for today is, what factor(s) made you decide to attend the church you currently attend? Preacher? Music? Proximity? Friends?
0 comments

March 19, 2010

I Don’t Want to See Your Baby Pictures

Unless I have a vested interest in your child, I don't want to see photographic proof of their evolution through babyhood. I know that many people do (mostly women), but it has absolutely no interest to me. That's why people mass e-mailing videos and pictures of their children has always struck me as weird. But, I was thinking about it more the other day. It's a God thing, isn't it? The same way that God ferociously loves all of his wonderful disgusting little children is a perfect reflection of our photo obsession. We're proud. And we want to show off. And that's a beautiful thing. So, I'll try to feign joy in your little aliens until I fully get it.
0 comments

March 18, 2010

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol

I know it's unfashionable today, even for a Christian. But, my wife and I are teetotalers (don't drink at all). My reasons have changed over the years. Family history. Religious conviction. Seeing the negative effects firsthand. Misappropriated legalism. But now, I think the main reason I don't drink is because it's quite clear that people aren't mature enough to handle it. The next time you hear people talking about drinking, pay attention to the conversation. Do you hear things like, "After the first glass of wine, I was feeling pretty tipsy..." followed by a chorus of "hahahahahahas!"? Or you're having a normal conversation with people, and they say, "You know what would make this meeting better? A 6-pack!" followed by another chorus of "hahahahahahhahas!" Or as early as 9 AM you hear, "You know what would make this coffee better? If we Irish'd it up a little!" followed by a chorus of "hahahahahahs!" These are the same jokes that made me stop drinking when I was 18 years old, less than 6 months after I had started. Witnessing the stupidity of collegiate freshman was enough for me to hate both the idea of, and the effects of alcohol. And now, I've realized this mentality has nothing to do with age. We're getting older, but not growing up. We still think it's funny when someone talks about needing a drink at the end of a hard day. And not only do we encourage them in this feeling, but help rationalize that they (and ourselves) deserve it. Rather than working to change the circumstances that 'cause this mental desire to relax through alcohol. And that's terribly sad. Start listening and you'll learn to hate it, too.
0 comments