These guys hate every yellow flag thrown. They dislike the NFL's growing rules to prevent helmet-to-helmet contact. They want to see guys get flattened. They want to see the big hit. They want to see the car flip over. They want to see the lion eat the Christian.
2) The Ex-High-School Player
These guys think they know what they're talking about because they played a year and a half of high-school football, and can name the two different defensive formations they had to learn to stop an opposing quarterback with a 15-yard maximum arm range.
3) The Stats Guy
These are the guys who wish they could have been on the high school team, and are mad because their physical inability outweighs the fact that they "understand" the game better than 99% of the meat heads on the field. These guys end up working at ESPN.
And then there's me.
These are the guys who don't really know what they're looking at. They like football for the same reason they like Monet. It's beautiful. But they can't explain why. They live for the kickoff returned for the touchdown - the breakout run - the one-handed grab. The constant barrage of action, and the possibility of "wow" on every play gives Football no equal.